Dear Sam,
Since we broke up, you have had two girlfriends. Both have had numerous siilarities to me, and I’ve always wondered if it’s just a coincedence or if it’s because I set some kind of bench mark for you. You always said I was your first true love, and part of me hopes you know you made a mistake by leaving me, and that’s why your girlfriends have been similar to me.
I’ve had three boyfriends since you. The first was a definite rebound, anyone could have seen that. The second, let’s just say it came about from my being low in confidence. The third, my current boyfriend, is amazing. He treats me amazingly, and I love him to pieces. But I still feel guilty for the times when I miss you.
You told me you miss me sometimes, you have told me that part of you will always love me, you have said, drunkenly, that you still love me. I don’t know if you meant that in a romantic way or as a friend. You say inappropraite things about my boobs, your hugs seem more than friendly, but you say we’re just friends.
And deep down I know that I wouldn’t be happy if we were together again. You never put me first, ever. You often seemed to need reminding of my existance. I think I just treated ‘us’ more seriously than you did. But part of me feels like this isn’t over. Like there’s still something there, that will appen, maybe not for a year, ten years, or fifty years.
But something is unfinished.
